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We welcome the National Policing Statement 2024 for Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) which was issued today by the College of Police and the National Police Chiefs Council (NPCC) in recognition that violence against women and girls has reached epidemic levels.

In our local area, domestic abuse accounts for 40% of all violent crime and is the largest single issue being dealt with by the police.  However, whilst reports to the Police are reducing, referrals into local specialist services like Next Chapter are increasing at an unprecedented rate.  Many survivors will not report their experiences to the police and for some communities intersectional issues create further barriers to support, so we know that the issue will be much larger than the data shows.

We know that domestic abuse perpetrated by men against women is rooted in women’s unequal status in society and is part of the wider social problem of male violence against women and girls. Research with the University of Bristol has found that sexism and misogyny set the scene for male abusive partners’ coercive and controlling behaviours and enables violence against women and girls.

The rise in incidences of domestic abuse should be understood in the broader context of an unprecedented rise in experiences of wider violence against women and girls incidents which indicates a much wider societal issue which cannot be tackled by a criminal justice focus on specific perpetrators alone.  Domestic abuse and the wider issue of violence against women and girls, with its roots in misogyny and patriarchy, and the cultural and community acceptance of violence against women and girls is a whole society issue that needs a society-wide response.

We must to come together to challenge all forms of discrimination and inequality.  We need male allies and for men to call out other men when they see unwanted behaviours.  We need men to be great role models for boys who will be our next generation of men.  Only by working together to unlearn gender stereotypes, unpick power imbalances, and unteach misogyny will we hope to change the way society views, values and treats women and girls.

We heard from Jess Phillips, MP & Minister for Safeguarding at the Women’s Aid National Conference only last week as Labour unveiled their plans to halve violence against women and girls in a decade - we welcome their commitment and look forward to working together to help deliver this aspiration.

Until then, we will be here for all survivors of domestic abuse to provide a place of safety and to support them to recovery and reclaim their life free from domestic abuse.  

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Notes:

Intersectionality refers to an understanding of the ways that multiple forms of inequality or disadvantage can compound themselves and create additional obstacles.

Misogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls, and the term can also refer to social systems or environments where women face hostility and hatred because they’re women in a world created by and for men.  

Patriarchy describes a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

Toxic masculinity is an attitude or set of social guidelines stereotypically associated with manliness that are often regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society.  The term toxic masculinity isn’t mean to imply that the idea of masculinity in itself is inherently bad.  Examples include:

• Men are tough, strong and do not cry.

• Men have an entitlement to women’s bodies, leading to sexual comments and harassment toward women.

• Men are encouraged to assert their power and dominance

• Homophobia – a belief that homosexuality is a deviation from traditional masculinity

• Men are breadwinners and the head of the household

Putting these sort of expectations on men can lead to men and boys feeling isolated  because they feel they are unable to ask for help.

Male Ally refers to men who work for social justice from positions of dominance or influence, for example men working for gender equity.  Effective allies work in solidarity with people from marginalised groups.

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If we aren’t talking about coercive control, we aren’t talking about domestic abuse.‍

...That’s the direct message that greets you when you visit Samantha Billingham’s ‘Stronger Beginnings’ website. Samantha is a domestic abuse survivor who has been unfaltering in her campaign to raise awareness of coercive control and the impact it can have, as well as her work providing a safe online space for those affected to talk about their own experiences.

At Next Chapter, it’s our duty to talk about every aspect of domestic abuse and we were grateful for the opportunity to delve in to the topic of coercive control with Samantha…

Next Chapter: Hi Sam. Thank you for chatting with us. Firstly, what inspired you to start Stronger Beginnings, and how has your campaigning journey been?

Samantha Billingham: As a survivor turned advocate, for me, Stronger Beginnings is about bringing professionals and organisations together, to put survivors of coercive control and domestic abuse at the heart of what we do.  It’s about building stronger connections and conversations and creating changes for survivors of coercive control and domestic abuse.

NC: What are some common misconceptions about coercive control that you aim to address through your training programs?

SB: I think the biggest misconception about coercive control is that it doesn’t exist! It is completely misunderstood and minimised, making it difficult for survivors to make a disclosure through fear of not being believed or understood.

I existed in a controlling situation for three years, but it was only when I found the strength and courage to escape, that I realised how controlled I had been.  In the midst of it all, I accepted and tolerated his behaviour toward me as normal.

Coercive control is dangerous because you don’t feel the impact immediately; you aren’t even physically touched by the perpetrator so you don’t really understand what is happening to you.

It was only when I was handed a questionnaire that I realised how controlled I had been.  

It’s also an important message to get out there that coercive control also affects and has an impact on children and young people too.  In line with new legislation, children are victims of domestic abuse in their own right.  As a Trustee for the Buddy Bag Foundation, who provide bag packs to children going into refuge, full of toiletries, PJ’s socks, underwear, a book, something they can call their own, this is needed more than ever.

NC: What role do you see employers playing in supporting employees who are victim survivors of domestic abuse?

SB: Employers can play a significant role in supporting employees who make a disclosure in the workplace.   The important thing for employers to remember is they do not have to get directly involved at all.  Support can be creating a safe and supportive workplace environment.  This could include implementing policies that address coercive control and domestic abuse, providing training for managers and employees on how to recognise signs of abuse and allowing flexible arrangements to accommodate survivors’ needs.

When I was in abusive situation, at the ‘honeymoon period’, I made my first, and last, disclosure to my former employer. I was instantly sacked.  He didn’t want to even listen to what I was trying to explain to him, which at that point was extremely difficult as I didn’t really understand what was happening to me at the time.  The perpetrator has isolated me from my friends, family and locked me in the flat I shared with him, throwing my mobile phone out of the 7th floor window, preventing me from calling into work.  When I managed to escape two days later, the first place I went was to my workplace, at least to be heard.

Simplified, support looks like acknowledging, adapting and addressing coercive control and domestic abuse in the workplace. Sadly domestic abuse doesn’t stay at home, it follows the survivor into the workplace, and this is through no fault of their own.

For some, the workplace might be their only safe haven and it is important employers recognise that.  They might notice subtle difference in their staff, for example, they might be constantly on their mobile phone.  This is because the perpetrator is bombarding them with calls, text messages and voicemail message and, if the employee doesn’t respond there will be consequences for them.  

I am a proud Ambassador for Employers Imitative on Domestic Abuse (EIDA) who provides resources, handbooks and tools for employers on how to support staff who make disclosures in the workplace.  

Over 1 in 10 of those who do experience domestic abuse report that the abuse continues in the workplace, 81% of cases confirm that this is through abusive emails or phone calls.

Also, perpetrators themselves might turn up at the workplace unannounced, maybe with flower and gifts as a surprise for the employee, when in reality they are checking up on them; making sure they aren’t talking to anyone of the opposite sex.

It is vital that employers have an understanding of coercive control and controlling behaviour because this is the type of abusive behaviour that their employees will be experiencing at work.  

NC: Could you tell us more about the inception of your online group, SODA (Survivors of Domestic Abuse), and the kind of support it offers to its members?

SB: After escaping the domestic situation I was once in, I was a lone parent with a young baby in a new area, so one of the first things that I did was register with, what was then known as, a local Sure Start Centre.  It was there that the volunteering co-ordinator planted the seed and asked me if I had ever thought about helping others.  At the time my initial reaction was no but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be the support I had never had.

SODA is an online safe space for men and women who have experienced domestic abuse to come together without judgement.  We don’t offer crisis support as there are already amazing local and national charities, such as the Paul Lavelle Foundation, Mankind Initiative and Women’s Aid who provide specialist crisis support but we focus on life after coercive control and domestic abuse.  SODA reduces isolation, raises awareness and gives hope, that there is life after abuse.

Members within the group can share as much or as little about their lived experience as they feel comfortable with.  Only members within the group can see posts and comments, and there is an option to post anonymously too.  It’s an extremely safe group.  It cannot be found, members are added to the group by me.  It is open to men and women up and down the country.  There is no waiting list to be added to, it’s not a postcode lottery and there isn’t a criteria to fit.

We provide a signposting service, we provide Zoom meetings and focus on building member’s self-esteem.

NC: What are your future goals for your work in the field of domestic abuse awareness and prevention?

SB: My future goals are to continue conversations around coercive control, domestic abuse and its impact by using as many platforms as possible, whether that is podcasts, radio, TV, blogs.  

I am currently completing my IDVA coursework which I’m going to pass so I can support survivors in a stronger way than I am currently doing.

I’m really interested in public speaking at conferences and sharing my lived experience as well as starting conversations that can create real change.

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Thank you to Samantha Billingham for joining us for this guest interview.

You can learn more about Sam’s initiatives at strongerbeginnings.mailchimpsites.com/

If you are based in Mid/North Essex and you’ve been affected by domestic abuse or any of the themes mentioned in this article, we can help. Click the ‘Get Help’ button for support.

In an emergency, call 999.

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A recent case in Chelmsford underscores the critical need for comprehensive support services for domestic abuse survivors.

Chacko Abraham Thenakarayil, 71, of Hornbeam Gardens, Chelmsford, was found guilty of attempted murder after a violent assault on a man with a meat cleaver. The incident occurred on May 6, 2023, when officers were called to Hornbeam Gardens following reports of a serious assault.

Enquiries revealed that Thenakarayil had assaulted the victim inside an address by hitting him with a meat cleaver in the back of the head and attempting to stab him with a knife. The victim, despite sustaining serious injuries including a fractured skull and losing around 500ml of blood, managed to disarm Thenakarayil and escape to seek help from neighbours. When neighbours intervened, they found Thenakarayil holding a third knife, which they bravely removed from him.

Prior to his arrest, Thenakarayil had implied his intent to kill the victim, stating to witnesses, "I'm not finished." He was subsequently arrested on suspicion of attempted murder, charged the following day, and remanded into custody. Following a two-week trial at Chelmsford Crown Court, he was found guilty on June 26 and is awaiting sentencing.

Essex Police referred the survivor to Next Chapter for expert support following emergency services being sent to an incident at the home.

The survivor was allocated an experienced Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) who supported them from the outset until the conclusion of the court proceedings. The support included empowerment and assistance to gain a greater understanding of the UK Legal system.

Our IDVA’s offer support to all victims of domestic abuse including those at risk of so-called Honour Based Abuse.

So-called Honour Based Abuse (HBA) is a crime or incident committed to protect or defend the “honour” of a family or community.

We would like to say thank you to the family for trusting our support, which of course at present is still on-going.

You can read the Essex Police statement here: https://www.essex.police.uk/news/essex/news/news/2024/june/chelmsford-man-found-guilty-of-attempted-murder/

If you need support, click the ‘Get Help’ button. In an emergency, call 999.

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On Sunday, England face Serbia in their first game of the 2024 Euros tournament. The country will be backing Southgate’s side as they travel to Gelsenkirchen to kick-off.

Meanwhile, here at home, behind closed doors, a completely different battle is about to kick-off for thousands of women. The main opponent? Their partner.

Football is often hailed as ‘the beautiful game’, however, the nationwide passion for a sport that is inextricably linked to England can sometimes reveal a darker side - particularly during major international tournaments like the Euros.

Here in the UK, a disturbing trend has been observed: a significant increase in domestic abuse incidents coinciding with England's football matches.

Multiple studies and reports have confirmed a correlation between England's participation in football tournaments and spikes in domestic abuse incidents. Research conducted by Lancaster University revealed a 38% increase in domestic abuse reports when England loses and a 26% increase when our team wins or draws. The heightened patriotic emotions, alcohol consumption, sense of “Englishness” and an “us v. them” rhetoric fueled by media narratives of these matches are contributing factors to this alarming pattern.

The National Centre for Domestic Violence corroborated these findings during the 2018 World Cup, reporting a 25% rise in domestic abuse cases on days when England played. These figures underscore the consistent and troubling link between football matches and domestic abuse.

Several factors contribute to the spike in domestic abuse during football tournaments:

Emotional and Psychological Stress

Football matches, especially those involving national pride, elicit strong emotions. The outcomes of these games can lead to extreme reactions, whether it's the elation of a win or the frustration and disappointment of a loss. These heightened emotions can exacerbate tensions at home, leading to abusive behavior.

Alcohol Consumption

Football viewing is often accompanied by increased alcohol consumption, which can impair judgment and exacerbate aggressive tendencies. Alcohol is a known risk factor in domestic abuse cases, further inflaming already volatile situations.

A 2020 study (Trendl, Stewart & Mullett) used 10 years’ worth of crime data from the second largest police force in England (West Midlands Police). They found that of the 427,351 reported cases of domestic abuse in this period, 26% were alcohol-related (in contrast, only 9% of non-domestic abuse cases were alcohol-related).

Furthermore, an analysis of the 2016 Euros found that viewers encountered 122 references to alcohol per broadcast on average – that’s 0.65 per minute (Purves et al., 2017).

The damning fact is that sports broadcasts offer alcohol companies a loophole to avoid post-watershed guidelines, further enticing people to pick up an alcoholic beverage and take the first step on the path that too often results in domestic abuse.

Alcohol isn’t an excuse for domestic abuse. There’s no excuse for domestic abuse.

Social and Cultural Factors

The social environment surrounding football, particularly in pubs and communal viewing areas, can contribute to a culture of aggression. The collective tension and high stakes associated with these matches can spill over into domestic settings, resulting in abusive incidents.

The issue of domestic abuse in the UK is pervasive, affecting a significant portion of the population. According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), about 4.1% of people aged 16 and over experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2023. This figure highlights the ongoing prevalence of domestic violence. Put simply, it can affect anyone.

‍Our new campaign

This month we’re rolling out our new poster campaign across bars, pubs and other venues across Essex where the Euros are being shown.

We designed this in-house to make the public aware of the key statistics surrounding reported domestic abuse incidents when England play in major tournaments.

Of course, we understand that domestic abuse is called so for a reason. It happens at home – and we can’t get our posters into every living room. So here are a few signs you may notice in those around you that could be signs of abuse:

• Is someone you know or are associating with making derogatory comments about their partner, or women in general?
• Does a friend consistently make excuses not to come out?
• Changes in the way people react to certain sounds, or the way their name is said.
• Walking or driving past your friends’ house, do they always have their curtains closed?
• Have you noticed a sudden change in personality in someone? Perhaps they are feeling overly low or happy (the latter to compensate), struggling to maintain eye contact or expressing timid body language?
• A colleague is often sick with seemingly no medical reason. There could be a pattern to this, for example the day after every football game of their partner’s team.
• Has a friend expressed concern about their partner's behaviour? They might be demanding access to their social media, putting them down, gaslighting them or even just constantly talking over them.

Signs of abuse can be both visible and invisible – a lot of the time, when you have a hunch, it’s worth following up on. You can also do your part by calling out toxic ‘banter’ that may be a red flag for abuse or a potential perpetrators state of mind.

At Next Chapter, we believe that everyone knows someone affected by domestic abuse, so if you see the signs mentioned above, or if you just have a hunch, you can visit our website to find appropriate options to get them support in a safe way.

Click the ‘Get Help’ button to learn more.

Need help urgently?

• 999 – if there is immediate risk to life
• Police stations – come into any police station in Essex and you will be able to talk to someone

• 101 – the non-emergency phone number.
• Officers or PCSOs on the street

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Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. It can have implications across your whole life – financial, sexual, emotional and more. Naturally, these can have a huge knock-on effect to a victim's mental health as well. What’s more, these mental health effects can last for years after, sometimes long after a victim has escaped an abusive relationship.

This week marks Mental Health Awareness Week 2024, so over the week we’ll be sharing statistics and case studies highlighting the connection between mental health and domestic abuse.

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If you’re struggling with your mental health

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Sometimes things feel so heavy that we wouldn’t blame you for thinking that there’s no one who can properly understand or help you – but this isn’t necessarily the case.

At Next Chapter, our trained staff can help you with your concerns about your mental health in relation to domestic abuse.

You can click the ‘Get Help’ button above to find appropriate support for you.

Certain activities can help you find a moment of peace, too. Such as learning a new hobby, taking part in a class, reading or walking in nature. Our friends at Women’s Aid have also released a new Yoga challenge which you can find by clicking here.

Did you know?

• Domestic violence has an estimated overall cost to mental healthcare of £176 million.2
• Research suggests that women experiencing domestic abuse are more likely to experience mental health problems. In contrast, women with mental health problems are more likely to be domestically abused, with 30-60% of women with mental health problems have experienced domestic violence.3
• Domestic violence is associated with depression, anxiety, PTSD and substance abuse in the general population.4
• Exposure to domestic violence has a significant impact on children's mental health. Many studies have found strong links between poorer educational outcomes and higher levels of mental health problems.5

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References

1. ONS. (2014). Intimate Personal Violence and Partner Abuse.

2. Walby, S. (2004). The Cost of Domestic Violence. Research Summary: Women & Equality Unit.  

3. Howard, L.M., Trevillion, K., Khalifeh, H., Woodall, A., AgnewDavies, R., & Feder, G. (2009). Domestic violence and severe psychiatric disorders: Prevalence and interventions. Psychological Medicine, 40(6), 881–893.

4. Trevillion, K., Oram, S., Feder, G., & Howard, L.M. (2012). Experiences of domestic violence and mental disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. PLOS One, 7, e51740.

5. Gilbert, R., Kemp, A., Thoburn, J., Sidebotham, P., Radford, L., Glaser, D., & MacMillan, H. (2009). Recognising and responding to child maltreatment. The Lancet, 373(9658), 167–180.

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What is stalking?

If you have ended a relationship but your ex-partner is continuing to contact you, and you aren’t responding, or you fear if you don’t respond they might get worse, this is Stalking. They might also be turning up to your home or other places uninvited, seem to know your whereabouts without you telling them, be contacting your friends about you, or making allegations to professionals. Any of these behaviours are Stalking. In addition, having been in an intimate relationship they have significant knowledge of your life, routines, any vulnerabilities, your devices and accounts, any of which they could be using to Stalk you.

This behaviour is illegal. Maybe you aren’t sleeping, are feeling extremely anxious and on edge, have changed your daily routines to avoid your ex. You do not have to live like this, we can help.

Next Chapter can advise you of your options and support you with whatever steps you are ready to take to increase your safety – it is your choice. We will work with you at your pace, we can advocate to others for you, we are non-judgemental and understanding of the impact Stalking has.

We are independent of Police. But if you choose to report, we can support you throughout the process, and advocate for you as experts in Stalking. Maybe you’ve already reported and don’t feel you are being taken seriously – we can help.

What does stalking look like?

Stalking can take many forms. Often, a victim may experience the stalker:

• Publishing victims address online alongside malicious allegations about them, or to sex/chat websites (and giving out their address)
• Driving past the victim’s house several times a week
• Asking victim’s neighbours to report back on victim’s movements
• Calling and pretending to be a professional to elicit info from victim, or making malicious Allegations to professionals to cause distress
• Alleging fraud to DWP to freeze benefits, (if perp previously had control of all bills and money) Not passing on any info of bills and cancelling/changing into victim’s name without their knowledge which accrues debts – eg car insurance if victim owns and uses the car, signing them up to catalogues - (financial abuse)

• Using fake and numerous social media accounts across all platforms to follow/friend victim and their friends and family online
• Using withheld/new & unknown numbers/email addresses to continue contacting after being blocked
• Cyber stalking – having access to smart devices/ring doorbell in the home after separation, Hacking email address, bank account, etc
• Escalating significantly if victim doesn’t answer, so that victim has to reply/do as they are told to avoid e.g. harm to family

What is a stalker?

Some people are told to stop contacting their ex-partner but feel unable to let go, want lots of ongoing contact, to know what their ex is up to, and reconcile. Some people feel unable to stop contacting, or try to “bump into” their ex, or feel angry if they don’t get a reply and decides to go to their ex’s home address instead of texting and calling. Some people might make threats to get what they want. Some feel that mental health is impacting behaviour, or drinking or drug use is increasing. If you recognise any of the behaviours in yourself, you can get help to change.

Please go to The Change hub: The Change Hub - The Change Project (thechange-project.org)

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