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  • Tales from the wilderness

    Tales from the wilderness

    Working with our cause has given me opportunities I never thought possible, read about my extended week in the wild! Read more

  1. News, Impact and stories
  2. Next Chapter Blog

Blog

Why doesn't she just leave??

Why doesn't she just leave??

Understanding the reasons and the countless barriers that stand in the way for any woman who is attempting to leave an abusive relationship is the important part. We will never just ask a woman to leave, we empower women to make their own decisions in an attempt to hold abusers to account for their behaviour. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 12th March, 2021

Author: Ruth C

How are you? But how are you really?

How are you? But how are you really?

This is something we say without really thinking too much about it when we talk to our friends and family, it’s a question, but not one we take a lot of notice of, as we all generally reply ‘good’ or ‘fine’ even when we are not really feeling that way. So, if we have our doubts we could consider How are they really? Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 10th March, 2021

Author: Naomi S

Sexual Abuse in a Relationship

Sexual Abuse in a Relationship

It is so important to raise awareness of sexual abuse, the many forms it can take and why many women subconsciously accept the abuse as normal in their relationship. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 6th February, 2021

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Jenna R

Sexual Abuse Awareness Week

Sexual Abuse Awareness Week

Rape and sexual assaults do happen in relationships and if something isn’t comfortable or not wanted then regardless of relationship status should not happen. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 5th February, 2021

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Lucinda W

New Year ... New You?

New Year ... New You?

A few months ago, there was a serious incident whereby the police were called, the abuser was taken into custody. Dawn was relieved but at the same time terrified of what the implications would now mean for her and the kids. Thankfully, Dawn was referred to our services by the Police Officer who had attended that night. Dawn knew deep down that she had no choice but to face this now, head on, she was sooooo brave in doing so. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 23rd December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Shelly H

12 Days of Success

12 Days of Success

One of my real highs was with a client who had endured abuse for 18 years, to ensure her safety and anonymity, I will be calling her Rebecca. Rebecca’s abuse took the form of coercive control, isolation from friends and family, manipulation, and physical abuse. She had already taken a major step in her journey before coming into our service, by splitting up with her perpetrator. The outstanding abuse and issues that needed to be resolved mainly occurred through child contact, which is sadly the Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 22nd December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Connie F

Be authentic this Christmas

Be authentic this Christmas

Maybe this relationship is not quite what you thought it was, last Christmas was truly amazing but this Christmas you are just not sure what is going on.  He is slowly starting to stop you from being who you want to be, maybe your friends and family have pointed out that you are distant or seem unhappy? This is the time to speak to someone, Next Chapter are here to listen and offer advice, it can be hard to discuss these types of worries to people you are close to and who know your partner. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 21st December, 2020

Updated: 5th February, 2021

Author: Shelly H

We support men too

We support men too

Following a serious incident of domestic abuse toward Martin by his partner, he was advised to seek support from The Next Chapter. When Martin first engaged in our services he made it very clear that he loved his partner and had no intention of leaving her. He said that he wanted support, as he often felt tearful and overwhelmed by the situation. He also felt embarrassed as it was ‘his job as a man’ to take care of his family and keep them safe. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 20th December, 2020

Author: Lesley C

Reaching Out

Reaching Out

Annie referred herself to our service earlier this year for support and advice around leaving a relationship, and most importantly safeguarding herself and her daughter. Reaching out for support was a major milestone for Annie, this was something she had thought about several times before but for many reasons was unable too. On some occasions, the perpetrator would talk her out of ending the relationship by minimising or denying the abuse, and for others Annie doubted whether she had the streng Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 19th December, 2020

Author: Amy M

My abuser has given me…. Trauma Bonding

My abuser has given me…. Trauma Bonding

Jane struggled to understand why it happened to her, what was wrong with her and how to break the emotional ties to her abuser. Sharing a child with Toni made it even more difficult as he would often accuse her of preventing him from being a father as a further way to manipulate her and play on her emotions. Jane has found herself torn between being told not to go back for her safety and the safety of her child and feelings of love and the believe that she needs to help Toni. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 18th December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Darina C

Here to help

Here to help

After she was assaulted by her partner, Emily ended her relationship. After her partner left, she tried to make sure that their children still had a good relationship with their dad. This was not easy because he used the fact that he had contact with the children to be verbally abusive to Emily and to make unreasonable demands about contact. He also made promises to the children which he did not keep. This left them upset and meant Emily had to deal with the fall out. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 17th December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Nicola C

A Christmas Wish

A Christmas Wish

Christmas is a time to be with your family, ‘It’s not about the gifts’ they say, ‘it’s about spending time with those you love’. What happens when the one’s who are supposed to love you actually jeopardise your safety? What then? How does that make for a Family Christmas? One gift that we feel is really important this Christmas is the gift of safety, love and support. We all need this, it’s something we all deserve. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 16th December, 2020

Author: Shelly H

Anne's Story

Anne's Story

Anne and myself have been working together through her trauma, in this time I have seen her go from strength to strength. On the tough days we have spoken things through, re-assuring her that she did deserve a life without abuse, she wasn’t overthinking things and she was believed. On the good days we have celebrated her milestones together, cheering and clapping reflecting back on her progress. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 15th December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Tianna M

What does Christmas mean to you?

What does Christmas mean to you?

Many of my clients talk to me about the fear of not creating the ‘perfect’ Christmas for their families, especially if there is ongoing domestic abuse. There is dread of Christmas not going to plan and believing it will be their fault and they will be blamed. My advice is clear, Christmas is one day and does not have to be perfect. Taking on the responsibility to make everything picture-perfect, is an impossible task. You are responsible for yourself and your children. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 14th December, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Naomi S

A Positive Story

A Positive Story

For Christmas, this year we have decided to focus on the positives that we have achieved as a team and the successes that our clients have achieved with our support. 2020 has been a strange year for everyone – to say the least! But instead of focusing on the bad, let me tell you about a recent client I worked alongside to leave her abusive relationship. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 13th December, 2020

Updated: 10th March, 2021

Author: Amber C

Me, Myself and Abuser….

Me, Myself and Abuser….

Slowly I started to realised that this would never change. That my prince charming doesn’t exist, it was just a mask and a trap to lure me in. I started looking for a way out. I couldn’t tell my friends and family the truth, they would judge me. They would ask me questions like “why didn’t you leave before?”, “why did you stay?” and “why did you have a baby with him?”. They would never understand that the hope my prince charming would return was stronger that any rational thinking. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 12th December, 2020

Updated: 14th December, 2020

Author: Darina C

Day in the life of a resettlement worker

Day in the life of a resettlement worker

Setting up a new home is a great relief for my families. Finding that they can re-gain some sense of normality quickly takes a great weight off their shoulders, to know that they are not just left to do it all on their own once leaving refuge is really helpful. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 19th August, 2020

Author: Nicole A

Comments: 1

Schools out for summer…..?!

Schools out for summer…..?!

Indeed, school is out for summer but actually it’s been out since before the start of the Spring term.  It feels an age since we had the routine of school around us to help us manage our day and our children could socialise with their friends as they used to.  We know schools are often the heart of our community and act as a place of safety for many of our children who are living with or have experienced domestic abuse. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 14th August, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Jocelyn VB

What our partner agencies and clients tell us

What our partner agencies and clients tell us

I could talk and talk about our service indefinitely I guess because I want you to feel comfortable I want you to feel that you can trust us with your own individual story, but now it is time for you to hear a bit less from me and a bit more from people who have used our service, and what other agencies may tell you about our service Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 24th July, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Ruth C

Jargon buster - let us explain as much as we can for you!

Jargon buster - let us explain as much as we can for you!

My point to you all today is to continue to ensure you that as IDVA’s we can help and we will help with all sorts of issues that matter to you, simple and not so simple. We may not always have the solution right away, but we will help you get there, we will help you see the wood for the trees, to see that there can be a light at the end of that tunnel and you will then understand why all of a sudden you have so many people wanting to talk to you. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 17th July, 2020

Updated: 24th July, 2020

Author: Ruth C

Comments: 1

My first few weeks with next chapter IDVA service

My first few weeks with next chapter IDVA service

I have found that some clients tend to play the abuse down if it hasn’t got physical, but what a lot of people don’t realise is, any type of abuse can have the same effect on one person, sometimes even worse. For example, emotional abuse can have just as much affect on one person as physical abuse can. The bruises and scars that are not visible from psychological, emotional and coercive abuse take a long time to heal. All domestic abuse is a crime and no one should have to live in fear. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 10th July, 2020

Updated: 24th July, 2020

Author: Aimee J

IDVA’s in lockdown

IDVA’s in lockdown

The IDVA team understands the impact lockdown has had and the additional difficulties, this has for our victims/survivors of domestic abuse for we all continue to break down these barriers and continue to be innovative in how we offer our support. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 26th June, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Ruth C

The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

So, imagine for a moment that you’ve summoned up the courage to finally leave, you’re feeling vulnerable and afraid and understandably really nervous about what the future might hold –you have to try and find your way through all that…. that's if you even knew half of it existed in the first place or where and how to start to getting in touch with them… So that's where we IDVA’S come in. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 19th June, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Jenni T

A day in the life of working in refuge

A day in the life of working in refuge

Our aim is to fill the women who come in with power and independence. For many they have lost this and it takes time to get the ability to make decisions for themselves again. Sometimes we advise women on what their options are but we never make choices for them as this is part of gaining their independence back. We assist to ensure that they are in receipt of benefits, assist with housing applications and to gain legal orders. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 12th June, 2020

Updated: 19th June, 2020

Author: Katie N

Refuge traffic

Refuge traffic

When a family or single lady decides to leave her situation and arrives in refuge it can be a daunting experience, so our staff do their utmost to make this journey as pleasurable as we can. Each flat-let is dressed with a new duvet, cover, sheets, pillows, towels, toiletries and food, these are all gifted to our clients to take on their forward journey. Read more

Posted to: Blog

Published: 8th June, 2020

Updated: 15th December, 2020

Author: Lorna P

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Latest

  • Sharon Stephens

  • Sarah Taylor

  • Why doesn't she just leave??

    Why doesn't she just leave??

    Understanding the reasons and the countless barriers that stand in the way for any woman who is attempting to leave an abusive relationship is the important part. We will never just ask a woman to leave, we empower women to make their own decisions in an attempt to hold abusers to account for their behaviour.

  • How are you? But how are you really?

    How are you? But how are you really?

    This is something we say without really thinking too much about it when we talk to our friends and family, it’s a question, but not one we take a lot of notice of, as we all generally reply ‘good’ or ‘fine’ even when we are not really feeling that way. So, if we have our doubts we could consider How are they really?

Most read

  • How to move forward from loss and grief

    How to move forward from loss and grief

    These are all perfectly natural feelings and reactions to loss and grief and some may even compare it to a bereavement. Even if you don’t feel that way at all you may have been left feeling empty and confused or angry. We might constantly be bargaining with ourselves still or find that depression has taken over. We all deal with loss in our own individual ways and this is what makes each of us so unique. This is perfectly normal too.

  • How does domestic abuse differ in other cultures?

    How does domestic abuse differ in other cultures?

    The actions of individuals are influenced by the norms, values, language, and other cultural factors that are like the dust in the air that surrounds everyone. These cultural factors are ingrained in us from the day we are born, and can play a role in either ending or perpetuating domestic abuse.

  • Sexual Abuse Awareness Week

    Sexual Abuse Awareness Week

    Rape and sexual assaults do happen in relationships and if something isn’t comfortable or not wanted then regardless of relationship status should not happen.

  • Special Place in the Home

    Special Place in the Home

    So, you survived Monday!  Well done.  One of the things that I am really missing is seeing my friends and family – we know that ‘being connected’ is really important for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.  Having close positive relationships gives us a purpose and a sense of belonging.  During this lockdown many of the ways we are usually connected to people – friends, family, work colleagues, school chums – have changed beyond all recognition.

  • Why doesn't she just leave??

    Why doesn't she just leave??

    Understanding the reasons and the countless barriers that stand in the way for any woman who is attempting to leave an abusive relationship is the important part. We will never just ask a woman to leave, we empower women to make their own decisions in an attempt to hold abusers to account for their behaviour.

  • The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

    The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

    So, imagine for a moment that you’ve summoned up the courage to finally leave, you’re feeling vulnerable and afraid and understandably really nervous about what the future might hold –you have to try and find your way through all that…. that's if you even knew half of it existed in the first place or where and how to start to getting in touch with them… So that's where we IDVA’S come in.

  • Safety begins at home.....?

    Safety begins at home.....?

    We know from speaking to our clients, that the lockdown has meant that some perpetrators may not be able to feed their addictions, or they may be over feeding their addictions due to boredom or frustration and this in turn will be affecting their mental health. There is so much research about the dangerous cocktail of this ‘toxic trio’ (the combination of domestic abuse, substance misuse and mental health issues) as it leads to emotions being intensified which in turn drives behaviours.

  • Covid-19 - what are we doing?

    Covid-19 - what are we doing?

    As part of our commitment to individuals experiencing domestic abuse and their families who are worried about them - we’re doing our very best to make sure that we are always available to respond and help.  Your safety and wellbeing is of paramount importance to us and we are prioritising our services in relation to safety and support above everything else.

  • Me, Myself and Abuser….

    Me, Myself and Abuser….

    Slowly I started to realised that this would never change. That my prince charming doesn’t exist, it was just a mask and a trap to lure me in. I started looking for a way out. I couldn’t tell my friends and family the truth, they would judge me. They would ask me questions like “why didn’t you leave before?”, “why did you stay?” and “why did you have a baby with him?”. They would never understand that the hope my prince charming would return was stronger that any rational thinking.

  • Help in an emergency

    Help in an emergency

    What to do in an emergency. If you think that you are in immediate danger then you need to call 999 for the police.

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Phone: 01206 500585

Phone: 01206 761276

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Next Chapter is a company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales under number 02266883 and registered as a Charity number 1058295. Registered office Next Chapter, P.O. Box 40, Colchester, Essex, CO1 2XJ © Copyright 2019 The Next Chapter (East of England). All rights reserved.