Is my relationship healthy?

Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.

In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviours don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partner.

Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who:

Tells you that you can never do anything right
Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
Controls every penny spent in the household
Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
Prevents you from making your own decisions
Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
Prevents you from working or attending school
Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

If you are still unsure if you are in a healthy or unhealthy relationship please visit https://www.livewellcampaign.co.uk/healthyrelationship/ and for more information on types of abuse click here

Latest

My first few weeks with next chapter IDVA service

I have found that some clients tend to play the abuse down if it hasn’t got physical, but what a lot of people don’t realise is, any type of abuse can have the same effect on one person, sometimes even worse. For example, emotional abuse can have just as much affect on one person as physical abuse can. The bruises and scars that are not visible from psychological, emotional and coercive abuse take a long time to heal. All domestic abuse is a crime and no one should have to live in fear.
IDVA’s in lockdown

The IDVA team understands the impact lockdown has had and the additional difficulties, this has for our victims/survivors of domestic abuse for we all continue to break down these barriers and continue to be innovative in how we offer our support.
Half Marathon for Next Chapter

Next Chapter provides vital services to women in my local area who are experiencing, or have experienced, domestic abuse. They offer a range of support, from immediate response after violent incidents to long term counselling which allows women to rebuild their lives.
In light of COVID19 and the 'stay at home' message, women experiencing domestic abuse are likely to need more support than ever.
The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

So, imagine for a moment that you’ve summoned up the courage to finally leave, you’re feeling vulnerable and afraid and understandably really nervous about what the future might hold –you have to try and find your way through all that…. that's if you even knew half of it existed in the first place or where and how to start to getting in touch with them… So that's where we IDVA’S come in.

How to move forward from loss and grief

These are all perfectly natural feelings and reactions to loss and grief and some may even compare it to a bereavement. Even if you don’t feel that way at all you may have been left feeling empty and confused or angry. We might constantly be bargaining with ourselves still or find that depression has taken over. We all deal with loss in our own individual ways and this is what makes each of us so unique. This is perfectly normal too.
How does domestic abuse differ in other cultures?

The actions of individuals are influenced by the norms, values, language, and other cultural factors that are like the dust in the air that surrounds everyone. These cultural factors are ingrained in us from the day we are born, and can play a role in either ending or perpetuating domestic abuse.
Special Place in the Home

So, you survived Monday! Well done. One of the things that I am really missing is seeing my friends and family – we know that ‘being connected’ is really important for our mental health and emotional wellbeing. Having close positive relationships gives us a purpose and a sense of belonging. During this lockdown many of the ways we are usually connected to people – friends, family, work colleagues, school chums – have changed beyond all recognition.
The Role of an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

So, imagine for a moment that you’ve summoned up the courage to finally leave, you’re feeling vulnerable and afraid and understandably really nervous about what the future might hold –you have to try and find your way through all that…. that's if you even knew half of it existed in the first place or where and how to start to getting in touch with them… So that's where we IDVA’S come in.
Safety begins at home.....?

We know from speaking to our clients, that the lockdown has meant that some perpetrators may not be able to feed their addictions, or they may be over feeding their addictions due to boredom or frustration and this in turn will be affecting their mental health. There is so much research about the dangerous cocktail of this ‘toxic trio’ (the combination of domestic abuse, substance misuse and mental health issues) as it leads to emotions being intensified which in turn drives behaviours.
Covid-19 - what are we doing?

As part of our commitment to individuals experiencing domestic abuse and their families who are worried about them - we’re doing our very best to make sure that we are always available to respond and help. Your safety and wellbeing is of paramount importance to us and we are prioritising our services in relation to safety and support above everything else.
Help in an emergency

What to do in an emergency. If you think that you are in immediate danger then you need to call 999 for the police.
IDVA’s in lockdown

The IDVA team understands the impact lockdown has had and the additional difficulties, this has for our victims/survivors of domestic abuse for we all continue to break down these barriers and continue to be innovative in how we offer our support.
Mask fitted, safety card is located in the seat in front of you

Last week we focused on our own psychological safety (routine so important here) and helping our children to feel emotionally safe – but what about being physically safe? For many children living in a household with domestic abuse, school provided the routine and much-needed respite. With schools closed and communities ‘shut down’, how can we help ourselves and our children to stay safe when violence erupts.
My first few weeks with next chapter IDVA service

I have found that some clients tend to play the abuse down if it hasn’t got physical, but what a lot of people don’t realise is, any type of abuse can have the same effect on one person, sometimes even worse. For example, emotional abuse can have just as much affect on one person as physical abuse can. The bruises and scars that are not visible from psychological, emotional and coercive abuse take a long time to heal. All domestic abuse is a crime and no one should have to live in fear.