I received a call from a lady wanting advice as she was concerned about the relationship her 15 year old daughter Maisie is in for the last 6 months. Maisie’s partner is 14 years old and he is verbally and physically abusive and controls all that she does. Maisie wears about a size 8-10 clothes but because he accuses her of wearing clothes to make other boys/men look at her she is wearing 18-20 tops to disguise her body, she has stopped wearing make-up and seeing her friends, even spending time with her family is problematic. H e face times her throughout the day and night, if she doesn’t answer the re percussions the next day are very severe for Maisie. He also accuses her of having people in her bed or bedroom so she has taken to sleeping under her bed so he can see she is on her own. They attend the same school, so she is unable to spend any time with her friends as he demands that she is with him.

I agreed to send some information to Maisie’s mum on healthy relationships and agreed to make an appointment in the evening to go and speak to Maisie.

The day I visited Maisie’s mum said that her daughter really wanted to speak to me and had read all the material that I had posted.

I spent a couple of hours speaking to Maisie and she told me a lot of things that had been going on between her and her partner. One of the things she said was that she had gone to town to buy a new top, only a T-shirt she had bought it extra large but because it was white her partner started shouting at her in the town centre that she had bought a white one so that the men could see her nipples when it was wet and then accused her of wanting to sit on some man’s cock who was looking at them. Maisie said she was in tears but this only made him worse. Maisie said she had read the information I had sent her mum and this had made her think about her relationship and was thinking about ending it. Maisie also advised me that she was thinking of changing schools to get away from him. We talked about Claire’s law and how she could use this in the future to protect her from any future abusive relationships. We completed a safety plan and ways of ending the relationship if that was what she really wanted to do in a safe way. I advised Maisie not to take any risks with her safety from her boyfriend and told her that she was brave to seek and accept help. I gave her my contact details and said she could call me at any time if she wanted advice and arranged to go and see her in a couple of weeks.

On my second visit Maisie was a different person, appeared much happier, was dressed in clothes that fitted her properly and the first thing she said to me was “ I’m wearing make up again and feel more like me”. Maisie advised me that she has now changed schools, has ended the relationship and decided it was safer to do this by text, and she did it from her mum’s phone as she had changed her sim card as I had suggested. In the text she said she had told him she was on her mum’s phone that she wanted no further contact with him and if he tried she would be speaking to the Police. Maisie said she feels like she has got her life back and that she is in contact with her friends, who had also said the changes she had made were for the better and that they are pleased to see the old Maisie back. Maisie said she did not think she would of had the strength to deal with her situation, if it hadn’t of been for her mum and the advice she had received from Colchester and Tendring Women’s Refuge. Before I left I made sure that if she or any of her friend’s needs help/advice around healthy relationships that they could contact me and made sure she had got my number. Maisie thanked me again for the support and said I could close her file, as there would be lot of other people that would need my help.

Although my support with Maisie was only for a few weeks, I felt that she took everything on board and wanted to change how she was being treated, and feel so impressed that someone of her age has been this strong to make choices that will change her life